on an art piece for SSA that I will be displaying downtown at the market while I talk to people about eating disorders and get petition signatures. I’ll post the painting or drawing when it’s finished!

a lot of new petition signatures! keep it up guys :) you’re amazing.

When I was 5, I woke up i the middle of the night to my dad screaming and cussing at my mom. My big brother came in my room to see if I heard it. I told him yes and I started crying. We went to the top of the steps. I was the one who sat right next to my mom at the bottom of the stairs and comforted her while she cried and cried. Then, my father came back in and kicky my mom, brother and me out. I have hated him ever since. I am now 14 i have been to 10 schools. I was bullied my whole life my cousin megan and my cousin colton physically and sexually abused me from age 3 to 12. When I was 11 my mom brother and I moved to West Virginia to live with my family and get away from my dad. We moved back with him when I was 12. I started cutting then. I was bullied by my WHOLE class. I ran out crying several times. ! My dad is on drugs and my mom drinks all the time. My mom went into the hospital and coted(she died and came back to life) I was so scared. When I was 13 my boyfried killed himself august 2nd. Then august 6th my cousin Tom killed himself. He was a dad to me. He did everything for my mom brother and I. He was the reason we are still alive. Then august 7th was my birthday. I have anotexia and I cut. I have gashed and normal scars all over my body. I am so scared of anyone seeing them. I was put in a mental hospital twice. I am home schooled right now, but next year i have to go back. I hate myself. Everyone says I shouldnt though. Everyone says i am worthless and unwanted. I was caught trying to commit suicide by my mom. Blood was drippin onto my carpet. I have had a miscarriage and now am called a slut. I am in therapy. I just want to feel okay but it feels impossible. If you read this, thank you.

2 years ago, life was great. I was never self concious, or paranoid, or had an eating disorder. Ive never been fat, only abit chubby, but i could fit into my older sisters clothes (2 years older than me), so that was great fun. That same year, everyone started to get ‘formspring’ (one of these websites where you write comments anon and send it to people’s page) and ‘truthbox’ which you use to be able to have on facebook, once again, it was anon. And people started saying things to me on there like ‘your fat’, ‘your ugly’, ‘skinny jeans are for people with skinny legs’. Obviously i was so upset and hurt by these comments, i started to not eat, and lie about eating, and even throwing up food i ate because i became so self concious of my body image. This is when my eating disorder started. 2 months after this started i dropped 10kg. That wasn’t enough weight dropped. This became very addictive. Your never happy with your weight or body image and thats part of the illness. Then a few months down the line and i had my ‘best friends’ and there boyfriends call me ‘fat’ and say things behind my back. I was doing everything i could to lose weight, but it wasn’t enough. That started the cutting. I was so depressed. I was getting so ill i had to go to hospital because my sugar levels were so low. If your sugar levels in your blood is below 2, you should be in a coma, yet mine were 1.4 and i didnt. I was so lucky, i thought of this as a wake up call. I changed friend groups as i thought it would get me into a more positive atmosphere and somehow i thought it would all just blow over…it doesnt work like that. This is my second year into my eating disorder, and i finally stopped purgeing and cutting, but the anorexia is still part of my life. Through my family and my true friends, it took me a year to realize maybe i do need help, so i have to go to a treatment center. I always thought to myself ‘im not 50lbs so im not anorexic’, ‘i havent been hospitalised, so im not anorexic’, but thats another common mistake, you dont have to be 50lbs to have an eating disorder. Im trying so hard to get better before i end up hospitalized now. There are some days i want help and i know i need to get better, but there are others when im in complete denial and refuse help. Its a daily battle and its one you face with for the rest of your life. Its not a lifestyle or a diet gone wrong, anorexia is a life threatening mental illness and people are so unaware of this. To think some people actually google ‘how to become anorexic’. I just want to be normal again. I want this all to be over…

Ive never had an eating disorder but ive had an issue with a weight all my life. Ive always been known as the “skinny one” but people are cruel and can use this against you. Ive been called anorexic loads of times and it used to upset me so much. I thought it had stopped but it hadn’t the only thing that’s change from 2 years ago to now is people are going behind my back and saying it. A few weeks ago a girl i don’t really talk to once said to my friend “oh the anorexic one?” At one point i even started to believe it. This is why i really want to raise awareness for eating disorders so people no what one is instead of saying anyone who’s skinny has one because that’s not true. Because of people saying this to me i began to hate the way i looked. The most common thing is having people put there two fingers around my wrist and say “omg your arms so skinny” i laugh of course, there my “friends” after all but really it hurts be deeply inside. The same people have said before “you haven’t got any fat on you your just skin and bones haha” and again i laugh but they don’t realise how much it upsets me. About 2 years ago i stood in front of the mirror in my bikini as i was planning on wearing it on holiday and just burst into tears. I could never show my stomach, i have been trying ever so hard to put on weight but i find it so difficult, luckily my stomach don’t look bad now but my arms, i cant stand my arms there discussing, there bone. My wrists i hate them i hate my back. I hate my neck. I hate my chest. I hate most parts of me. But there’s not much help out there for people like me. And i don’t feel like there ever will be. But if people knew what a eating disorder really was then maybe they wouldn’t say stuff like that to people like me. All i can do is keep trying. Stay Strong.

Basically, I’ll try to sum it up as fast as possible & this is helping me get a lot of things off my chest, so I’ll start from when I became a self-harmer, & developed eating disorders, etc. I’m Makayla. 14. 
When I was about 12, I lost my sister. She died of an overdose. After she died, my parents sent me to live with my grandma, because my mom went insane,then my dad divorced her.So, I moved in with my grandma, (& currently still living there.) Everything went waaay down hill from there. I’ve been abused ever since. She does the most insane things to me. Burns me with cigarettes,cuts me, hits me, has tried to kill me multiple times. So I began to self-harm.. I cut almost everyday currently, and have since about 12. I have cuts/scars covering almost my entire body. It’s crazy. She abuses me, physically, mentally, & emotionally.She tells me how fat I am everyday, how I’m nothing, & how I’m never making it anywhere. I’m a ugly little emo slut. My dad died when I was about 13, in a motorcycle accident. My grandma is psycho. I’ve honestly tried to commit suicide more times than I honestly can count. I’ve done more drugs, pills, than I know that name of. And then, my grandma got this new boyfriend. Mike. Mike lived at my house for a while, & whenever my grandma passed out, he’d bust my door in & rape me. He’s raped me so many times, I honestly lost count.But, it was just that once that, ended up giving me my precious, baby girl. Emmalynne. I love her to death & I’m a freshman in highschool, trying to raise a baby ( she’ll be one in June. ) all on my own. It’s hard, but I’m making i through. She’s saved me from suicide a bunch of times, and she’s my everything. I’ve been trying to overcome my cutting, anorexia/bulimia, for a while, but I’m still as consistant with it as I have been since I started it. It’s only gotten a bit worse, though. But, I’m trying to be the best mom I can.