Sunday, May 6, 2012
When I was 5, I woke up i the middle of the night to my dad screaming and cussing at my mom. My big brother came in my room to see if I heard it. I told him yes and I started crying. We went to the top of the steps. I was the one who sat right next to my mom at the bottom of the stairs and comforted her while she cried and cried. Then, my father came back in and kicky my mom, brother and me out. I have hated him ever since. I am now 14 i have been to 10 schools. I was bullied my whole life my cousin megan and my cousin colton physically and sexually abused me from age 3 to 12. When I was 11 my mom brother and I moved to West Virginia to live with my family and get away from my dad. We moved back with him when I was 12. I started cutting then. I was bullied by my WHOLE class. I ran out crying several times. ! My dad is on drugs and my mom drinks all the time. My mom went into the hospital and coted(she died and came back to life) I was so scared. When I was 13 my boyfried killed himself august 2nd. Then august 6th my cousin Tom killed himself. He was a dad to me. He did everything for my mom brother and I. He was the reason we are still alive. Then august 7th was my birthday. I have anotexia and I cut. I have gashed and normal scars all over my body. I am so scared of anyone seeing them. I was put in a mental hospital twice. I am home schooled right now, but next year i have to go back. I hate myself. Everyone says I shouldnt though. Everyone says i am worthless and unwanted. I was caught trying to commit suicide by my mom. Blood was drippin onto my carpet. I have had a miscarriage and now am called a slut. I am in therapy. I just want to feel okay but it feels impossible. If you read this, thank you.